Knitpickity

Venting

I have or had (not sure which is appropriate) a friend that decided to go into a tailspin with alcohol and drugs and eventually tried to commit suicide.  His friends and family did everything they could to try and help him but he was hell bent on this path of self destruction.  Well after a few months he reappeared and expected everyone to be all open arms and instant forgiveness.  We all watched as he imploded and we were all hurt by what he did.

So tonight he is trying to lay a guilt trip on me because I am not just all happy happy joy joy over his constant ramblings about himself and how he was saved and he is here now to teach us.  I am glad he is ok but this self righteous baloney needs to happen out of my space.  He is not trying to patiently rebuild trust, he is trying to cram his new found religion of self down my throat.

I am trying to be nice and patient with him but several times a week he tries to convert me

oh well

sharing secrets of the sisterhood

I have probably mentioned oh at least a thousand times that the best thing to come out of my divorce was an amazing relationship with my kids.  I am not talking about the kind where the divorced parent makes a friend out of their kid and tries to regain a lost youth.  Instead as I have spent the last 4 years learning about myself I have developed a great balanced relationship with them.

I do have a few rules . . .

1.  If it is immoral, illegal or just really plain stupid - don't do it.

2.  You can ask me about anything

Now the kids will tell you I have about a million more but those two cover most situations.

Last night I took Patrick to Freshman Bible Study.  They were running a bit late and I had a great parking spot where I could see into the house.  There he was tall, having a good time and oh so self confident.  That is a rare and special treat to see your child when they do not know you are watching.

He gets in the car and says "Mom, can I ask you a question":

Sure son - and he blurts out - "Mom, why do girls ask you 'Do you think I look *blank*' and then get mad when you agree with them."  Yes the word blank was what he said and not editing on my part.

I thought for a second and explained to him it was because females are insecure,  By asking that we are wanting you to notice us and find something unique and appropriate to say.  That we make up for our lack of self esteem by begging for compliments.  I am not really sure that he completely understood what I was saying.  I worried that I was breaking a rule of sisterhood to tell my son about the way the female mind works.

But then he said something so funny.  I cannot remember the exact wording but it was along the lines that human's ability to miscommunicate keeps us from reproducing uncontrollably.  Yup if guys did not stick their feet in their mouths then overpopulation would be a larger problem.

I think the sisterhood is safe LOL

Dude . . . You threw off my groove

Wow where have the last couple of weeks gone?  Been a blur of friends and work and kids and chores and my new favorite place . . . The Germantown Athletic Center - which is a very family friendly fitness center with gym, indoor and outdoor pool, racquetball courts, pool table, ping pong etc.

This membership was a family gift and we have all used and enjoyed it - today was my first time going solo - Cath was in ballet, Patrick chose to walk Boomer as his exercise so I went for some zen time.

Zen time?  Why yes if I can make it for 35 minutes of cardio I get a peace with the world feeling and the last 25 minutes of my work out are spent thinking how much I love life.

So today with 10 minutes left to go and feeling very well centered something goes awry.  I feel eyes boring into my back.  Glaring eyes.  Staring in my back.  Well not just my back but along the row of treadmills that I am on.  And I made the mistake of making eye contact.  This late 50's man wearing a tight shiny workout outfit reminiscent of the 1970's is starting at us and glaring and pouting.  Ah all of the treadmills are full.  Hmmmm back to walking - trying to recapture my focus but I cannot escape the eyes - since I made eye contact he has decided to focus his malevolent energy on me.  I try and ignore him but the creepy feeling remains.  Then you see one of the gym attendants walking down the row checking the time on everyone's machine for this man.  Finally in exasperation I told him that I had 2 minutes left and he could have my machine when I was done so that not everyone's workout gets interrupted by this boor.  So I finish - step off the machine to get the stuff to wipe it down.  He is standing at the foot of my machine when I get back after being gone 10 seconds to wipe it down and starts to get on the machine before I have even completely stepped off.  I made a sweet comment that patience was not his strong suit.  Maybe I should have found him the yoga class schedule.

The weird thing is he had this really high pitched bitchy voice - ugggh

I am not an expert in gym etiquette but seems to me like this is the behavior of a 2 year old. 

But I am loving the exercise.  I have trouble staying focused on my treadmill at home but at the gym I can do bikes. elliptical, stairs, weights - good to keep engaged and helping keep me loose and aligned.

Went to the chiropractor today and needed very little adjustment - amazing difference from 2 months ago where the pain was so constant :)

Remember there are no "Life Police"

I had plans for this weekend - get all of the Christmas stuff put away, tree taken down, house clean, laundry caught up, groceries bought, work out at the gym - typical weekend . . .  I have been uncharacteristically lazy this Christmas season and the new year reminded me to get off of my tush and back to being productive.

Well - I was productive this weekend sort of lol  My best friend's daughter is Catherine's best friend - they wanted her to spend the night Friday night.  So she lives about 45 minutes away and gosh I could not drop her off without enjoying some best friend time myself.  So Friday night was shot and 2 hours on Saturday committed.  Saturday I did a work outage and did some housework, took Patrick to the gym where we both worked out, got clean and picked up Catherine, bought groceries, came home cooked a decent meal and started laundry.  OK not everything I had planned to do but still being productive.  Went to put the laundry in the dryer.  Oh crap why is it still full of water.  Hit the breaker - messed around, got on google - 2 choices clogged hose or bad water pump.  Then wrung out the laundry by hand and threw it in the dryer and got to work.

It is easy to prove/disprove the clogged hose.  - just remove the drain hose from the back of the machine - have 2 buckets at least for this process and be prepared to frantically empty them.  The washer drained quickly and I knew I had a bad pump.  At this point the day kicked in and I decided to wait until Sunday morning to troubleshoot the water pump more.  So I got up this morning, did some housework while I sipped my coffee and then started in on the washing machine.  Flipped it over, looked at the pump - looked at the price of the new pump and the realization that I was going to replace the dang thing this year anyways.  So maybe not within 2 weeks of Christmas but still was in this years budget.

Needless to say that will involve some rearrangement of finances just as this weekend involved rearrangement of plans.  Last night I felt frustrated and exasperated and tired of being single.  Most women I know look at their husbands, boyfriends etc and say "Honey the washer is broken"  and that is it.  It becomes somebody elses problem.

Today is a new day and a fresh day.  Compared to right after the wreck when I was barely able to get out of bed, my car totalled, involved in a nasty court case with my ex and my son having to be rushed to the emergency room with a kidney stone this is a blip on the radar.  So my washer is broken, and I cannot replace it until payday which is Thursday . . . piece of cake.  So my finances will be a bit creative, my chores still undone but there is no life police.  I am the one that lives with my decisions and I feel strong and secure and independent.  When and if I choose to share my life it will not be someone that I need because "Honey the washer is broken"

Found a neat article that I want to share with other single moms - I thought it really spoke to the positive side and success . . . 5 favorable traits of successful single moms (like you!)

I was reflecting on those and wanted to add to them

1.  Perspective - put all of the bumps in the road in perspective.  It is so easy to see everything in life as piling on top of each other.  No everything is an individual event and needs to be handled that way.  Otherwise it is so easy to get overwhelmed and start "blame storming."

2.  Fall in love frequently - with your kids, your pets, a new hobby, the newest guy - it is exercise for your heart.  The ability to fall in love easily seems to be more common among women.  It makes us soft and vunerable and very feminine.  Yeah there will be disappointment and heartache but I believe it is essential because of the next item

3.  Hope - hope that no matter where you are good or bad that things will be even better.  Hope is what should get you out of bed every morning.  It lets us dream, love, have faith, plan, fantasize.  Very simply hold on to hope.

4.  Splurge from time to time.  Successful single parents tend to be very practical.  To do it well it is not glamorous and takes patience and planning.  Every so often do something that is a bit or even very outrageous.  And something just for you - helps you keep in touch with who you are outside of the day to day life.

 

The rewards are not just in the smiling happy faces of your kids, but the satisfaction of a life lived on your terms where you are true to yourself and your heart.